Single dad of a 6-year-old refuses to babysit his sister's 3 kids for the weekend after she says he's not a real parent: 'She said I wouldn’t understand what it’s like to be a real parent because I’ve never had to deal with multiple kids'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Nov 3, 2024 8:00 PM EST

So many parents are constantly trying to one-up others. It's a common refrain for parents to tell childless people, "You think you're tired now; wait until you have kids." I understand why people say this, but it's misguided. You often have no idea what is really happening in someone's personal life, and acting like their life is a walk in the park just because they don't have kids is silly. Maybe you didn't have "real problems" before your children, but that's not the case for many people. 

Even when the person being one-upped is a parent, this type of person will always find something that makes their life sound so much more difficult. "Having one kid is easy. Hit me up when you have three, and tell me how fun it is." The mom in this story not only acted like her life was so much harder than her brother's but also said he wasn't a real parent because he only had one kid. 

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    Cheezburger Image 10423231232
    via Brooke Cagle (Unsplash+)

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    AITA for refusing to babysit my sister's kids after she said I'm "not a real parent"?
    via u/Plenty-Blood1526
  • 03
    I (33M) am a single dad to my daughter (6F). Her mom passed away shortly after she was born, so I've been raising her on my own for her entire life. It's been hard, but I've done everything I can to provide for her and make sure she's happy and healthy.
    via u/Plenty-Blood1526
  • 04
    My sister "Claire" (35F) has three kids (10M, 8F, and 5F) and is married to a great guy. They're both wonderful parents, but they often ask me to babysit their kids because they know I have a lot of experience with my own daughter. I don't mind helping out when I can, but lately, it feels like they're asking me more and more, often with little notice. I've had to cancel plans, juggle my own schedule, and rearrange things to accommodate them.
    via u/Plenty-Blood1526
  • 05
    A few days ago, Claire called and asked if I could babysit for the weekend because she and her husband wanted to go on a couples' retreat. I told her I couldn't because I had already made plans with my daughter for a special daddy-daughter weekend. Claire got upset and said that I should be willing to help her out since she has "real responsibilities" as a mother of three and that I "only" have one child.
    via u/Plenty-Blood1526
  • 06
    That comment really hurt me, and I told her that just because I have one child doesn't mean my responsibilities are any less important than hers. She brushed it off and said I wouldn't understand what it's like to be a "real" parent because I've never had to deal with multiple kids or juggle a full household.
    via u/Plenty-Blood1526
  • 07
    I was really offended and told her that if she thinks I'm not a real parent, then maybe she shouldn't rely on me so much for childcare. I refused to babysit, and now she's furious. She's been texting me non-stop, saying I'm punishing her over a small comment and that I'm being selfish for not helping her when she needs it. Even my mom has chimed in, saying I should just let it go because Claire has a lot on her plate.
    via u/Plenty-Blood1526
  • 08
    But I don't think I should be treated like a free babysitter, especially when she clearly doesn't respect my role as a parent. AITA for refusing to babysit after what she said?
    via u/Plenty-Blood1526
  • 09
    Own_Lack_4526 NTA. If she doesn't think you understand how to deal with multiple kids, then obviously you shouldn't take responsibility for multiple kids. Enjoy your weekend!
    via u/Own_Lack_4526
  • 10
    Baby_Blue_Eyes_13 And if your Mom wants to chime in, then she can step up and start babysitting.
    via u/Baby_Blue_Eyes_13
  • 11
    CharlotteLucas OP Claire has a lot on her plate because Claire loaded up self (with her husband's help at her plate by her least as far as conception goes.)
    via u/CharlotteLucasOP
  • 12
    saltedcaramelcookie ⚫ 22h ago. NTA she literally said you aren't qualified as a real parent and don't know how to take care of multiple children, while trying to leave multiple children in your care. She's an ingrate and not in entitled to your help. Tell your parents to watch her kids.
    via u/saltedcaramelcookie
  • 13
    P1cklesniffer On top of that, she tried to manipulate him on multiple levels. Hard pass.
    via u/P1cklesniffer
  • 14
    PrideofCapetown • 21h ago • And got mommy involved to help pressure OP. "Let it go". What a pile of sh. Gosh mom, tel us which one's your favourite without telling us which one's your favourite. Since OP's mom felt the need to involve herself, she can babysit Golden Claire's 3 from now on.
    via u/PrideofCapetown
  • 15
    Elismom1313 On top of that she said that to a man who raised his child alone while grieving his wife's death. I'm sorry, but what an absolute I never use that word. But there's not another for it here.
    via u/Elismom1313
  • 16
    Available-Repeat3600 Right? She's out here with 'multiple kids, multiple standards' energy, but wants that single-parent discount on babysitting. Sounds like the real solution is Grandma's Babysitting Services - where apparently all 'real' parents are welcome!
    via u/Available-Repeat3600
  • 17
    XplodingFairyDust Not to mention they have 2 parents to split the load and two of the kids are much older and more self sufficient. OP is on his own with a young child.
    via u/XplodingFairyDust
  • 18
    IrishTempest50 This!! Time for her to be a "real parent" and juggle her schedule and her life and her husband. As for the mom....tell your sister that her mom volunteered to watch her kids. You are doing a great job Dad. You go do your daughter- Father weekend and enjoy. Tell you sister to go kick rocks!!
    via u/IrishTempest50
  • 19
    CrazyAstronaut3283 And just the irony of the fact that her plans for the weekend are a couples retreat and his are spending time with his daughter!
    via u/CrazyAstronaut3283
  • 20
    Tight_Jaguar_3881 She made the babies. They are her and her husband's responsibility. You are a single father. Being a single father is difficult. Did they ever babysit for you?
    via u/Tight_Jaguar_3881
  • 21
    sarcastic-pedant 100!!!! Also, you have plans with your daughter. A weekend getaway is not an emergency. You should not have to cancel plans for her mini break. She should plan in advance or pay someone else for childcare.
    via u/sarcastic-pedant
  • 22
    It sounds like she feels entitled to your help but dumping 3 kids is a big ask, you should not be expected to do it at all, definitely not at short notice and not at the expense of your own life. You are not the supporting cast in your sisters life. Your small family have your own main story arc that you need to pursue and just because she chose to have 3 kids when you sadly were forced to stop at 1, that doesn't mean your daughters life is any less important.
    via u/sarcastic-pedant
  • 23
    If you want to look after her kids, set a boundary of no more than 3 days in any month (or whatever your limit is) and if anyone says you should help family, let them know you will sign them up for babysitting duties. I wouldn't blame you for never having her kids again tbh. ΝΤΑ.
    via u/sarcastic-pedant
  • 24
    ClonePants So you're a widower and devoted yourself to your daughter while dealing with your grief, but you don't know "real" responsibilities? Your sister needs a reality check. ΝΤΑ.
    via u/ClonePants
  • 25
    apietenpol ΝΤΑ What in the French fried f ?? You raised a DAUGHTER on your own after your wife passed! You're more of a parent than 99% of the parents out there, including your sister. I'd tell her and your mom that you'll be no contact until they pull their heads out of their and apologize.
    via u/apietenpol

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family drama single babysitter kids brother siblings reddit story parenting widower babysitting widow dad family sister reddit thread Reddit parents
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